Sunday, October 25, 2009

impatience...... not always cool

i'm not sure if it's me or what. is it something i inherited or some personality trait i picked up somewhere. my husband seems to think when he asks me a question that i totally ignore him. he couldn't be more wrong! my husband is the smartest person i know. he's the type of person that always keeps you on your p's and q's. it's not with every question he asks me, but sometimes i pause for a second or 2 to think about my answer. if i don't have an answer for him as soon as he finishes asking the question, he's thinking i'm ignoring him and he starts with the "hello? is anybody there?" shit. normally he's a really nice guy. he's usually a lot of fun and a blast to hang out with. we're best friends. but lately he's been in a lot of pain. i know pain can make you depressed and it has depressed him some. i've been by his side and in his corner 150% so i don't understand the attitude i get from him. it seems like sometimes he uses being in pain as an excuse to be an asshole. i've told him how it makes me feel when he does it and he'll stop for a while, but then it's right back to this. it was such an ordeal trying to get the surgery he needed for his elbow and so far it's been a painful recovery for him. i also believe it's entirely his fault that it's that way.

anyway, i'm getting off topic here. i don't understand why he expects me to have an answer for him the instant he finishes the question. he's always been an impatient person but damn! so i even resorted to saying just whatever comes to mind when he asks me a question just to give myself time to think of a proper answer. while he's pondering whatever i've said i'll come up with the proper answer and say "what i should've said was .... ". once he caught one he asked me why i do that and i told him why. he said "wow. i didn't realize i was that hard one you." i told him it wasn't that he was being hard me, because he wasn't. he was being extremely impatient and that's what i told him. he had stopped doing that for a long time. now it's starting up again and it's pissing me off! now he's laying here sleep. funny how when he's sleep, i let him sleep. whenever i'm sleep or sleepy for that matter, he'll try to keep me awake by asking me stupid shit or having me go to the kitchen a hundred times or asking me to cook something or go somewhere. what the fuck? why can't you let me sleep? i've been sleep deprived for almost 12 years and i can only blame the kids for about 3 of them. the rest is all him! waking me up 50 times a night. i say i want to take a nap for 2 hours, he wakes me up in 90 minutes. it's like he can't stand to see me be still. i could list a couple dozen things that really piss me off, but that's not why i'm writing today. i just wanted to get that spat off my chest. he really pisses me off sometimes but i love him.

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